Indiscriminate Enrolment of Children in Activities
In recent years, I’ve observed a growing trend: children are increasingly enrolled in various commercially organized coaching classes covering a spectrum of activities such as sports, artistic skills (painting, pottery, sculpturing, etc.), dramatics, swimming, riding, and more. The decision-making process for selecting a coaching class appears to be driven not by the child’s inclination toward a specific activity or sport but rather by the mere availability of a slot. In many instances, parents seem compelled to keep their children occupied during holidays without direct involvement, hoping the child might gain some skills or, at the very least, spend some constructive hours in the class, relieving parents of home-related concerns. Even if one of the parents accompanies the child to the coaching facility, they often choose to retain their autonomy, entertaining themselves with mobile phones. This trend is not exclusive to working parents; it is prevalent even when one parent is not employed. Moreover, I’ve noticed this phenomenon transcending geographical boundaries, being observable in both India and the USA. As I reflect on these observations, I find myself contemplating why these notions didn’t cross our minds during our generation’s upbringing of children. Have we, as the previous generation, fallen short in our parental duties, leading our now-adult children to perceive such extensive enrolment in activities as necessary? Parents today not only enroll their children in numerous activities but also accompany them, sit through the sessions, and remain undeterred even when their child demonstrates limited interest in learning the associated skills. I’m compelled to question the underlying reasons behind this trend. Could it be imposing unnecessary pressure on the child? What emotions does the child experience when unable to grasp or enjoy the activity they’ve been enrolled in against their preferences? And, more critically, what potential impact might this have on the child’s developing personality?
Unveiling the Motivations
Let’s delve into the motivations prompting parents to enrol their children in a multitude of activities. Why don’t they encourage their children to play outdoors, interact with friends, learn on their own initially, and foster a genuine interest before considering enrolment in academies if they exhibit promise? Is this not akin to putting the cart before the horse?
It appears that several factors influence parents’ decisions to involve their children in numerous activities:
Channelizing Excess Energy:
Children are brimming with boundless energy, and their minds are constantly immersed in the process of learning, absorbing both positive and negative influences from their surroundings. Tasks such as making their own bed or tidying up their room often face resistance, as children perceive them as unproductive. I appreciate parents who adopt a strict approach to instill orderliness in their children’s lives, even if it means being labelled as a “helicopter parent” or deemed “useless” by their children.
I also endorse the notion of channeling this energy through outdoor physical activities rather than spending excessive time on screens and video games. However, I don’t advocate enrolling a child in an outdoor activity for a formal training without considering their natural inclination towards it. It’s not uncommon to witness scenes in training academies where children participate half-heartedly because their parents have enrolled them, while the accompanying parent remains engrossed on their mobile phones or unconcerned. This scenario raises questions about the genuine interest of the child and the meaningful involvement of the parent in their development.
Work-Induced Parental Preoccupation:
The prevalent notion among today’s parents is that their jobs are so demanding and stressful that they feel drained of energy when dealing with their energetic children after school. I find myself pondering whether, in our time, we were exempt from job-related stress. What a transformation it has been! Undoubtedly, we also faced significant work-related pressures, yet we discovered solace in the company of our children. It’s challenging for me to comprehend that today’s parents don’t experience the same sense of relaxation in their children’s company.
However, delving deeper into this, we encounter the term “quality time.” Is it suggesting that the time we spent with our children in the past was of lesser quality? I would strongly disagree with such an assertion.
Peer Pressure and Social Status:
Frequently, a child is enrolled in an activity not due to personal interest but because a Neighbour or acquaintance has done the same. It appears that, for some parents, it functions more as a status symbol – the greater the investment in enrolling a child in numerous activities, the more exemplary they consider their parenting to be!
Conflict with Personal Time:
Often, parents are compelled to forego their personal relaxation time, catering to the demands of their highly energetic children who require constant attention and involvement. This can result in physical exhaustion and mental fatigue. Although choices are influenced by personal preferences, I contend that dedicating meaningful time to children can bring greater satisfaction.
Commercialization of Training:
In both our generation and that of our children, nurturing the talents of children in areas like dramatics, dance, music, or sports was primarily driven by passion rather than a pursuit of extra income. During those times, schools played a pivotal role in recognizing these talents, with parents assuming a supporting role later on. In my era, some parents perceived these activities as time-wasting, fearing they might negatively impact academic performance. However, we gradually became more open-minded, supporting a child’s pursuit of an activity if basic talent was identified in school. The current trend of actively enrolling children in various activities and sports, even without a demonstrated inclination, can be attributed to the commercialization of training and coaching. The proliferation of such academies in urban areas, driven by parents seeking respite from parenting responsibilities, irrespective of the child’s interest, is, in my view, not conducive to the child’s holistic development.
What could be done:
In view of the foregoing, I have a few suggestions:
1.Closer Cooperation of Teachers and Parents:
I maintain my belief that the school, where a significant portion of a child’s daily routine is spent, should be the primary venue for recognizing their talents and inclinations. This necessitates an extension of the Parent-Teacher Association, encompassing not only academics but also engaging games and activities teachers who can discuss these aspects with parents. Subsequently, a child demonstrating promise in a particular activity or sport should receive further training and systematic development under the guidance of qualified teachers and coaches.
2. Thoughtful Resource Utilization:
While acknowledging that parenting choices are personal, I strongly endorse a thoughtful allocation of the time and resources parents invest in their children. Enrolling a child in a sport or activity without genuine interest is not advisable under any circumstance. This should be avoided, even if it means parents feeling somewhat drained of their energy. It appears considerably more fruitful for a child to engage in activities they find interesting at home, rather than spending idle hours on video games or unproductive screen time. If occasional parental attention is needed for such pursuits, it is a worthwhile investment.
3. Accreditation of Private Academies:
There ought to be a mechanism in place to regulate Private Support Academies and self-proclaimed professional trainers based on their proficiency level. This would empower parents, allowing them to make informed decisions when enlisting these services for the development of their children, rather than relying on a black box.
Concluding Thoughts:
In conclusion, the exploration of contemporary parenting practices reveals a complex landscape. Balancing a child’s interests with parental efforts, fostering cooperative relationships between teachers and parents, and exercising caution in the commercialization of children’s activities are essential considerations. This journey of nurturing our future generations demands a thoughtful and collaborative approach that prioritizes the genuine well-being and development of each child.
Inspire Positivity 